You know you?re in Africa when?
You know you’re in Africa when…
- Mzungu. Point Blank.
- You don’t need an alarm clock because a 5-year-old African child jumps on you.
- You think you have a Chaco tan but it’s really just dirt.
- You take a cold shower every day and you turn into a new level of stank.
- Beans and rice.
- 5 hour church services. 4 days a week.
- 20 people cram into a 6-person bus.
- You almost get run over daily.
- Punctuality is only a suggestion.
- Getting peed on by an orphan is a daily occurrence.
- You kill a mosquito and yell “MALARIA” and feel accomplished.
- You paid to get your hair ripped out.
- Everyone smells so bad you think you smell good, but in reality, you stank.
- If you don’t poop longer than 10 minutes something is wrong.
- You wake up to African men having a tea party on your porch at 2am.
- JESUS IS LAWD…amen.
- “Hash tag” is a word you use on the daily.
- Everyone is your mom.
- When Dari manages to change 1 syllable words into 27 syllable words….PA-RA-EHC-A
- You start picking up a northern accent.
- Lights are out at 10 but the church service seems to start back up at 11.
- Your bathroom is a zoo full of bugs and lizards.
- Bug spray burns your nose hairs.
- A child’s mode of transportation to school is a donkey.
- You have to have good aim in a squatty or else you’ll pee on your feet.
- “My Redeemer Lives” plays 11 times in a row.
- You blow your nose and red dirt comes out.
- Your try to fix your bug net, but your “bed” breaks.
- Sass is real.
- You see Obama everywhere… even when you’re across the world.
- You forget how to shower or what a shower is.
- You don’t have Internet, so you journal 24/7.
- Your laundry comes back browner than before.
- A flashlight is your best friend.
- The air smells like a mixture of BO and smoke.
- Random babies get thrown at you.
- Rainbow looms.
- Your water taste like dirt.
- They’re called malaria nets, not mosquito nets.
- You’re told the agenda for the day, it’s simply just an idea.
- People ask you for money just because you’re white.
- You grab a lizard instead of a razor, then decided to never shave again.
- You never know what day it is.
Written by: Dariella, Chelsandra, Abiliqa, Katie-bug, Kate the great, Mad-dog, Bail’s, and AL.
